


Ice

by Adanska



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Mind Control, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:44:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adanska/pseuds/Adanska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your arm is caught in a grip that freezes, grinds the bones in your wrist until you think they just might be dust. ‘<em>You have a heart</em>,’ he says, and it’s a wonder, a <em>taunt</em>, and you have only a moment to be offended by that before the chill freezes you from the inside out, expels you in a short, pained exhale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ice

Your arm is caught in a grip that freezes, grinds the bones in your wrist until you think they just might be dust. _'You have a heart,'_ he says, and it's a wonder, a _taunt_ , and you have only a moment to be offended by that before the chill freezes you from the inside out, expels you in a short, pained exhale.

It's like ice, the sceptre. Ice, jagged and broken, slicing you and killing you from the inside, taking up what little remains of your concentration. Still, you are a special agent (and before that, a spy, and before that, an assassin, and before _that_ , a thief, and before _that_ , a child with broken bones and broken teeth, and before _that_ \--) and pain is your life sometimes, so when the ice presses you to shoot the Director you _pull_ , just a little, and go for centre mass instead of the headshot that at this distance you could make concussed and _dead_ (Kiev, '98).

When you hear Fury through the radio, you shove even as your body turns, think ' _bow_ ' and not ' _handgun_ ', body posing in a way that Tash's gonna mock you for for _years_ when she watches the tapes, but it's worth it because it delays enough, goes _wild_ enough that it misses Hill (because you might not like her, don't even respect her, but you don't kill people on your side unless they deserve it and she just doesn't (yet)). It's the last bit you'll be able to do, pressing just enough that your aim goes wild, and if your body was your own you swear you'd be dying from a thousand cuts and you may live a life that's pain sometimes but nothing quite like this so you slip away.

You'll remember it later, remember it in enough stunning detail to make you rise from your nightmares practically screaming, but while it's happening you're numb to it. You press against the ice because of course you do, press and press in all the little ways you know you need to, but it doesn't help. As Loki's trap closes you're head is pounding and your eyes feel like shards and you haven't slept once since this all started but your aim is still flawless and you wish you could push but the ice is so strong you're thoroughly impaled and then the ice breaks and it's "Tasha?" and she hits you and you're gone.

The ice is still there when you come to, out for five minutes which is four minutes and thirty seconds more than Natasha needs to restrain you and start dragging you to the infirmary. Everything around you pulses in colours you'd forgotten existed, pulsed around the ice still piercing your you and freezing you out (but, and you think as you glance at the fire roaring around Tasha's head, they're thawing). You try to talk to her, words slurred and jumbled from you and the ice, and it's not til they get you to a bed and strap you to it before enough of you comes back online (but not enough, ' _Do you know what it's like to be unmade_ ', christ) to say the things you want to, you need to. She won't give you the right intel, and she's just as scared as you by all this crazy bullshittery, so you want to remind her of Paris but the words just won't come.

(She must have understood them anyway, mentions Budapest like a gift, and you don't know which time she's thinking of but you get a flash of a small girl with red red hair and a wooden sparrow flying across a sky of cloth that has always come back to you, and you take out the next three aliens with a smirk.)

(You wish you had your gun for this battle, something you haven't wished for in years because you _are_ Inigo Montoya and surprise you are not right handed, either, but a gun would do more damage, all that's working for you is surprise and agility and it's days like this where you think 'fuck the challenge' and go for the biggest boom.)

Afterwards, after Loki (his ice, his leeching hands, his crazed grins) is banished and they've all split, after you and Natasha are given the party line and given a new assignment, you and her break into the secret room in the secret wing of SHIELD's infirmary and sit together by a bed tucked in the corner. You watch your handler sleep (you are present while your handler's unconscious), and even with Tasha a burning line at your side, all you feel is jagged ice.


End file.
